How To Say No and Still Preserve Your Relationships

How To Say No and Still Preserve Your Relationships Earlier this week, I did my first ever Facebook Live event, which turned out to be both fun and productive. That’s because I had the pleasure of interviewing my friend, the fabulous Caroline Webb, and she shared some great actionable advice from her new book. Caroline is the author of ‘How To Have a Good Day’, and an expert in how people can use behavioral science to improve their everyday lives at work. Caroline has been doing this for over 15 years, first as a partner at McKinsey where she’s now a Senior Advisor, and now through her own company, as CEO of Sevenshift. Since the interview was 46 minutes long, I’ve included just one bite-sized segment of the interview transcript below. It contains my favorite piece of Caroline’s actionable advice from the Productivity section of her book where Caroline tells us how to create more time by learning how to say “no” something I need in particular! and to do it in a way that also preserves our relationships. Here’s the nugget on May:Caroline, I’d love for you to tell us some of your great wisdom and insight, particularly around how we “create more time”, or get more out of the time we have. And then some insights about our relationships; I have so many clients that say, “I could do so much, except for those other people getting in the way, what do we do about them?” Then, I find that so many of my clients are also dealing, underneath all of it, with confidence. We are all confident about some things, and not confident about others. So I’d love for you to talk a little bit about confidence. Then, everyone please stay until the end, because Caroline is going to share with us the two sure-fire ways to have a good day, or at least a better day then you were going to have, right? You promised you were going to share. Caroline:I did. I will. I promise. Yes. May:Yes, she always does what she says. You heard it here. Okay, so let’s start with this time element. As I said, you and I both coach a lot of clients, some of these are extremely senior people, as in, CEOs, or other C-Suite executives, and oftentimes, for my clients, they’re taking on new, bigger assignments, and they go from doing a huge job to doing an even huger job. And the one thing that they say is, “how do I create more time?” Caroline:Well, there are lots of different components to a good day. If you think about those days when you look back at the day and you feel great about it, it’s usually some combination of three things. One is that you feel like you have done things that matter to you, and second that you feel good about what you’ve done; whether it’s because you’ve had amazing conversations, or you’ve done your best possible thinking, or you’ve made a real impact. Then there is definitely something about whether you have enough enjoyment and energy left in the tank at the end of the day. You know, whether you feel like going through it all again the next day. So the book is gathered around seven building blocks that feed that definition of what a good day is, and sort of the general theme that sits behind all of my work, which is that we have a little bit more control than we tend to think. That’s why it’s a good place to start, to ask about how you create more time in a day, because it feels like it’s the most fixed thing ever. May:So, in the productivity section of your book, and there are over 100 great pieces of advice that you can just put into action immediately from the book, my very favorite of those 100 plus is something that I have a lot of trouble with. It’s about how to say no, and still maintain good relationships. Caroline:Yes, I think when we’re talking about those moments, those days, maybe those years, when we feel overloaded, we’ve got too much to do, it helps to really be aware that everything we say yes to is a no to something else, right? Because we do have limited hours in the day. May:I have to write that down, because it has to sink into my brain. You’re right. Caroline:So, sometimes, we fear saying no because we don’t want to have the difficult conversation, but as a result we’re saying no to something that actually we should really be saying yes to, because it’s more important. Maybe it’s more important to something that’s deeply meaningful for us, or maybe it’s more important for other good reasons. But it’s getting into the mindset that every yes has a no attached, and every no has a yes attached. May:Yin and yang. Caroline:Yes, and actually there is a way of saying no that deals with the reason that most of us avoid saying no, which is that we don’t like being unpleasant to people. Suppose you’ve committed to go to a meeting and then suddenly you have to pull out; you realize there’s just no way you can honor other commitments that are really, truly critical to you unless you extract yourself. But you think, “Oh, I don’t want to have that conversation.” There is a way of having the conversation, whether it’s over email or in person, which is kind of all but guaranteed to ensure that you have a better conversation, and it goes like this. The way it works is that, if you’re trying to pull out of that meeting, you normally say, “I’m so sorry,” imagine you’re typing the email. May:Yes, “huge apologies”. Caroline:“I’m so sorry, huge apologies, I’m so sorry, blah, blah,” the challenge with that is that what you’re doing is you’re subtly putting the other person’s brain on the defensive. When people are on the defensive, they are not going to respond in as expansive or generous or thoughtful a way. May:You’re right, of course not. I didn’t realize I was doing that. Caroline:So what you do instead is, first of all you start with warmth. You often forget to do this when you’re freaking out about saying no to someone. You start with, “I hope everything is coming together well for the meeting, it’s going to be really great, important, blah, blah, blah.” Then you say your ‘yes’, what is it you’re saying yes to? “It’s really important to me at the moment to…” I don’t know. What is your yes? May:Well, I was working on my book at that time. Caroline:Okay, right, so, “On my side, things are going great with the book, there is a lot going on, it’s quite intense, and no complaints, but it does mean,” and this is where your ‘no’ comes in, “It does mean that I’m having to make some tough choices about what I’m doing, and I’m so very sorry” â€" then you get to say sorry. May:So I get to say sorry? Caroline:You get to say sorry. May:But not first. Caroline:But just not at the top. May:Okay. Caroline:And then you end with warmth â€" again, we often forget to do that. Say, “I do wish you all the best. If there is anything I can do, if there is someone else I can send in my place, blah.” So it can be a tiny bit longer, but not that much longer. The trick is just that you don’t start with the negative. People often say to me, “Well, this positive no,” as it’s called, “Don’t people kind of know what you’re going to say?” And the answer is yes, probably, they’ve probably guessed that the reason that you’re getting in touch or that you’re talking to them is that you’re needing to extract yourself from a commitment. But the very fact that you start with something that is warm, and then you talk about something that is important to you, in a positive way, it can’t help but pique their interest. We know that that’s how the brain’s reward system works; it responds to a lot of things that are not at all what we’d normally think of as rewards, and it includes information and novelty. So, you pique someone’s interest. It’s not that they won’t be disappointed, it’s not that they’re not sorry that you can’t do this thing- May:Yes, exactly. Caroline:-but your ‘no’ lands in a brain that’s in a fundamentally different state, so to speak. May:Right, it’s open to that, and it’s open-minded. Caroline:It’s more open-minded, it’s what, in the book, I call ‘discovery mode’ rather than ‘defensive mode’. May:Ooh, I like that, discovery mode, yes. Yes. We should all be in discovery mode more of the time. Caroline:Yes, so discovery mode is when your brain is more focused on rewards than on threats, and then very subtly saying the things you’re excited about, even though it means you’re needing to say no, it’s enough to off-set the negativity. May:Yes, and I think also, I know that when people have to say no to me, it helps if they explain. If they just say ‘no’ then I have to guess; do they hate me? Is it that my thing is stupid? Whatever it is. So I think that might also help. Caroline:Absolutely, and you’re absolutely right, to explain. So the thing to try out is just to re-sequence your email, and not to start with ‘I’m’ sorry’. Absolutely say sorry, but just start in a different sequence. I often end up typing and having to like, space, space, space, where I add in. Start with warmth â€" what is it you’re saying yes to, and why is it important? What is it that you therefore, with regrets, with huge apologies, have to say no to, end with warmth. May:Yes. Terrific. So that’s my favorite tip. You should read her book and see what your favorite tip is. I’m dying to know. Watch the full interview where we talk about the following topics: Creating more time Through “single tasking” (5:20) By saying no in a way that preserves relationships (11:50) How to handle difficult people (17:20) How to feel and convey confidence (29:10) Two sure-fire ways to have a better day (38:20) Download the full interview transcript (PDF) Learn more about Caroline’s work here I hope you find these actionable ideas as useful as I did! Now, I know this is a different format from my usual blog posts, so leave me a comment to let me know what you think. And in the meantime, have a good day!

How to job search when youre over 50 -

How to job search when youre over 50 - Ageism grips many in the job hunt. No one doubts it can be more difficult for more experienced workers to land new opportunities and you feel stuck in a  job search rut. Some overlook your application because you are deemed overqualified, and others discriminate because they believe older workers will demand too much money. Still others worry that you are not technologically savvy and many employers are concerned workers over 50 are not flexible enough to keep up with their quickly changing priorities. The best way to  get a job when youre over 50  is to address and overcome all of these concerns in the job search and application process. If you are concerned your age may be preventing you from landing a job take the following steps to stay relevant in a fast-changing workforce: 1.  Apply for Appropriate Jobs When you apply for jobs you are clearly overqualified for, you encourage employers to wonder how long you will be willing to stay in the position before bolting for something better. They dont consider you relevant for these positions, even if you would be thrilled to take the job. If you want to be considered for positions,  apply for jobs youre not overqualified to do. Consider shifting your focus to a new industry if your field is not hiring, but do not send hundreds of resumes for entry-level positions if you have 20 years of experience if you want to hear back. 2. Be Upfront About Salary Needs In order to successfully stay relevant regarding strategy, you need to stay in-the-know about expected salaries for the positions that interest you. Research sites such as  Glassdoor.com  and  Salary.com  and talk to people in your field to assess target salaries for each organization where youd like to work. Most applications will ask for target salary, and if you can comfortably answer with a relevant range, it may help hiring managers feel more comfortable calling you for an interview with the understanding that they could afford your asking price. 3. Demonstrate You Understand and Use Technology If you think LinkedIn is the latest video game craze and youve stayed off of social media because its not for people like you, you may as well be holding up a sign that says too old for todays workplace. Embrace technology, get a Smartphone and learn how to use social media tools to get a job. Employers are turning in greater numbers to social media because they are finding better candidates there and the technology saves them time and money. Think of these tools as an extension of your in-person networking activities and as an opportunity to grow the number of people who know, like and trust you enough to refer you to speak to someone they know for an information meeting or a job. 4. Be Flexible A stereotype about older workers is that they are more likely to want to do things how theyve always done them in the past and may not be open to change. One way to overcome this stereotype is to incorporate and highlight problem solving, creativity and ability to learn new skills in your application materials. Describe your recent accomplishments and how you used current techniques and approaches to overcome obstacles. Incorporate keywords in your application materials to indicate you are up-to-date on the latest thinking in your field. If you are having trouble fulfilling this suggestion, it may be time to take a class to help you pick up the newest information you need to know. An added benefit: when you engage in continuing education related to your field, you demonstrate your interest in learning new things, which will help you overcome stereotypes and help you land a job faster. More advice 10 Reasons You Arent Getting the Job Remarkably Easy Ways to Expand Your Network Things You Should Never Say in a Job Interview Originally appeared on AOLJobs.com.

How to Write a Cover Letter For a Resume

How to Write a Cover Letter For a ResumeWriting a cover letter for a resume has become increasingly important in today's job market. Because you are applying for jobs that you would otherwise not have gotten, employers will look at your letter with even more attention. You want them to notice the information you have written in the first paragraph of your cover letter. Here are a few tips to help you out.The first thing you want to do is to take a look at the different resumes that are on your computer screen. Some are from a business and some are from a personal job search. Make a note of those that really catch your eye. Remember, not all employers like the same letter. But, if you write one that stands out above the rest, they may see that it is the kind of resume they would be interested in reading.By now, you may have already put some thought into your job hunting or if you are applying for a job in any job at all. This is the part where you will write your resume for a job. Whe n you start to write your resume, make sure that you are following the instructions that come with the job. In other words, your job will tell you what to put on your resume.For example, if you are applying for a job as a computer operator, the information you need to include in your resume is that you need to provide proof that you have worked for your current employer for three months or more. Most job seekers know this and what you need to do is to write your resume as though you were applying for a position in an entirely different company. Don't worry, you are not stealing information.Once you have your resume in place, it is time to begin the actual writing of your letter. To get started, start your letter by thanking the employer for giving you the job, but it is not necessary to say more than that.Give the employer a brief bio about yourself. Most employers don't ask for a lot of information on your resume, so you will want to focus on the things that really stand out to the m. This will help to make you stand out from the rest of the resumes on their screen. So, once you have introduced yourself, you should then turn your attention to the benefits you bring to the company.If you have never written a cover letter before, remember that you can choose to follow the traditional way of formatting this type of letter. Or, you can decide to go the unconventional route and go for a more natural style that you may have never considered before.

College ROI Schools amp; Jobs With the Highest Pay for Grads

College ROI Schools amp; Jobs With the Highest Pay for Grads If you want to set yourself up for earning big after college, you can’t just bank on having a degree from a specific school or pursuing a certain profession. More often than not, you have to figure out the perfect way to pair the two. Fortunately, PayScale has already done it for you. The compensation website released last week its 2018 College ROI Report, an annual research project that relies on salary data collected from some 1.4 million survey respondents over the past decade. Among PayScale’s different data breakdowns, one identified the best value colleges by career pathâ€"essentially, publishing a list of the college-plus-career combinations that have given alumni the highest net 20-year returns on investment. That analysis found 19 cases where that ROI totaled $1 million or more, even before taking a school’s typical financial aid into account. (This type of analysis tends to favor public schools, where tuition is lower. Private universities that tend to have higher sticker prices but greater aid to students do better when the analysis factors in the college’s net price, after aidâ€"and indeed, an ROI analysis that factored financial aid showed a much greater set of million-dollar combinations, more than half at private institutions.) To determine the rankings, the PayScale team calculated the difference between bachelor’s degree recipients’ median pay over 20 years and high school graduates’ earnings over 24 years. (The latter group counts a longer period of income because, as the thinking goes, university students lost out on paychecks while they were in college.) It then subtracted college costs, considering whether students paid in-state or out-of-state tuition rates. Some institutions appear on the list more than once if they offered a high payoff to both in- and out-of-state students. Predictably, the results are dominated by career paths in science, technology, engineering and math: so-called STEM fields that we already know tend to pay more than normal. Ten of the 19 cases were linked to alumni securing employment in computer and mathematical occupationsâ€"a job category that, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, includes software developers, information security analysts, programmers, database administrators and more. “Generally speaking, with computer and mathematical occupations, there’s just been a surge in demand in those roles over the past 10 years or so,” PayScale chief economist Katie Bardaro tells MONEY. “STEM isn’t going away any time soon, so pursuing majors in STEM is a really good opportunity.” Service schools also showed up on the list, with both the U.S. Military Academy and Merchant Marine Academy appearing twice. Bardaro suggests that this was partly because those institutions have such a low cost of attendance: West Point pays for students’ tuition, and the Merchant Marine Academy charges only about $1,000 for tuition and fees. “When you’re thinking of ROI, that’s immediately a cost reduction,” she adds. The list includes big-name private schools like MIT and Stanford, but also public institutions like the University of California â€" Berkeley. Berkeley spokesman Dan Mogulof says he thinks the results can help counter outdated views of the school. While the campus was the site of famous Free Speech Movement protests in the 1960s, Berkeley students now have a long-term track record of finding high-paying jobs. Mogulof attributes that to a couple of factors. First, he says, the college’s faculty members “have feet in both worldsâ€"academically and the real world,” which makes it easier for students to make professional connections. Berkeley also has a lot of alumni engagement in a region with high-paying jobs, he adds, with the campus located about an hour away from Silicon Valley: “We have a pretty good sense of what’s going on out there.” Some of Berkeley’s graduates say the campus advantages predate Silicon Valley. Alumnus Jolen Flores, a 70-year-old retired aerospace engineer living in the San Francisco area, gives the campus at least partial credit for his lengthy and lucrative career at NASA. “I enjoyed learning not only in the classrooms but from the progressive open-minded thinking that is nurtured at Cal,” he tells MONEY. “I loved my life at Berkeley.” Of course, college salary data can be an imperfect science. As Inside Higher Ed pointed out last year, PayScale draws conclusions from self-reported data volunteered by survey respondents, meaning it doesn’t have the same amount of information for every school. However, PayScale’s numbers still offer solid guidance for students trying to pick a college. Bottom line? While these schools and careers don’t necessarily guarantee a lifetime of profits, they’re definitely a good place to start. Dive into the numbers for yourself here.

4 Ways Facebooks Latest Change Can Actually Help Your Personal Brand - Work It Daily

4 Ways Facebooks Latest Change Can Actually Help Your Personal Brand - Work It Daily Last Thursday, Facebook announced that it’s platform would shift away from a publisher-influenced platform to one that puts people first, a change that has been long-awaited by Facebook members. While brands and publishers aren’t pleased with this change, it has the potential to help you build your personal brand, whether you’re looking for a job, starting a business, or looking to advance in your current job. Here are four opportunities Facebook’s News Feed update creates for your personal brand: 1. You can create more valuable content. Instead of recycling meaningless videos from publishers or like-minded brands on your personal page, you can use this latest update to finally improve your content or learn how to create valuable content of your own. Creating content doesn’t require you go back to school or spend countless hours trying to make a video that resonates with your audience. However, it does require you to pay more attention to trends, listen to your followers, acknowledge what’s working for highly sought-after candidates, and spend more time creating and sharing. 2. You can use it as a networking tool. Now that many unnecessary posts will vanish or will appear less in the feed, this presents a great opportunity for you to not only make yourself more visible to your friends, but also to reach out to those who inspire you. Basically, it gives you the opportunity to use Facebook like you use Linkedin. Facebook can be a meaningful and powerful resource for networking (just like Linkedin) if you choose to use it that way. Tip: Start engaging more with your friends. Share your experiences (where valid), highlight your most recent work, and connect over the value you both bring each other. Estimated Time: 5 minutes or more each day. 3. You’ll gain confidence in yourself. Sharing content that matters and seeing people who inspire you can help your confidence. According to a study, people who used Facebook more tended to have more depressive symptoms than those who used it less. This latest change from Facebook aims to create a more supportive and positive environment. So, become an influencer and create value for your community! 4. You’ll be more intentional when you’re on Facebook. Before the change, it was easy to get lost in the same content from the same brands. It was also easy to simply watch from the side-lines and leave one’s personal brand to hang in the balance, slowly losing impact under Facebook’s former algorithm. With this update, you can expect a chance to tune back in and create strategies that will help you better represent your personal brand and create more awareness about your skills to colleagues, friends, and potential employers. Instead of deactivating your account, become more aware, share your wisdom, engage with your community, and earn merit as an influencer. You’ll gain confidence, become a respected leader in your circle, and grow your personal brand along the way! Join Our Private Facebook Group Join Work It Daily's private Facebook Group for exclusive advice, insights, discussion, and special offers! Request access here. #   Have you joined our career growth club?Join Us Today!

Heres What Women Told Us About Their Workplaces In 2016

Heres What Women Told Us About Their Workplaces In 2016 This past year, weve learned a lot about women and their experiences in the workplace. By providing a space for women to anonymously share their opinions and advice on where they work, weve amassed a tremendous amount of unique, proprietary data, which we plan to summarize each year in an annual report. After hearing from hundreds of thousands of women about what their jobs are like and whether their employers provide welcoming environments for women, weve compiled our 2016 inaugural report, which features 50+ pages of data and content from women in our community, as well as third-party research that has been published during the year from other reputable research organizations. In case youre in a time crunch, weve summarized key findings from the report, which concludes that employers can focus on improving in these 9 areas1) Broadcasting Benefits, Culture and PoliciesFemale job-seekers report that they have a hard time underst anding what employers culture, practices and benefits rae. Yet these potential recruits care a great deal about womens opinions about working at a given company and make job application decisions based on them.2) Examining Pay PracticesWomen in the workplace are very aware of and concerned about compensation inequality and how their pay stacks up against their male peers. Even if you cannot commit to a full-fledged pay audit, you should set practices into place that encourage consistent pay across job titles. As a result you will improve your ability to attract top talent, increase job satisfaction and drive zurckhalten of female employees.3) Prioritizing Gender Diversity, Particularly within ManagementFairygodboss data proves - perhaps unsurprisingly - that there is a clear correlation between womens job satisfaction and gender equality at their company. Weve also found a correlation between womens job satisfaction and diverse management teams. In other words, diverse management ra nks are essential to driving gender equality throughout the organization. So take some time to consider whether your management team composition reflects your culture and priorities. Bottom line investments in diversity initiatives and programs are truly worthwhile because they result in higher job satisfaction and therefore attraction and retention of women.4) Ensuring Women are Promoted Equally to MenAccording to Fairygodboss members, unequal vorrcken is the top area in which they observe gender inequity in their organizations. Unequal access to sponsors, unfair evaluation, and boys club mentality are some of the reasons women provide for this concern. To improve your companys practices, take a look at your promotion and succession planning processes and pursue mechanisms to remedy this persistent cycle.5) Improving Maternity and Parental Leave PoliciesWomen with young children have the lowest labor force participation rates. To increase the likelihood that mid-level women return and stay with your company after maternity leave, consider improving your benefits. Make sure you understand how your companys leave policies compare to competitors. A top-tier leave program serves as a strong stake in the ground about your companys commitment to women and families.6) Formalizing Work-Life Balance and Flexibility PracticesWomen report that many employers are family-friendly in terms of the hours they work, yet many remain disappointed about official policies. The degree to which work-life balance exists for a given employee most often comes down to the individual manager. Flexibility, which is a prized feature of any job, is rarely consistently or formally supported. A well-articulated flexibility policy can be a real asset to employers looking to recruit the best talent.7) Encouraging Mentorship and Sponsorship for WomenWomen consistently report less access to senior leadership. Consider formal programs or other options to build an infrastructure to support, mentor and sponsor women at your company.8) Leading the Way with Bold Steps to Support WomenCompanies are making real change by demanding greater diversity from their vendors, performing compensation audits and proving out the business case for on-site daycare. Your leadership stance on gender diversity issues can make a difference -- not just to your own employees, but to women everywhere.9) Engaging Men in the ConversationAlthough most men support gender diversity in the workplace, they are often unaware of bias or discrimination when it takes place. More direct and honest conversations between men and their female peers and direct reports can lead to greater sensitivity and more effective partnership.Fairygodboss is committed to improving the workplace and lives of women.Join us by reviewing your employer

What You Dont Know About Tulane University Job Resume Writing Tips May Shock You

What You Dont Know About Tulane University Job Resume Writing Tips May Shock You All About Tulane University Job Resume Writing Tips Job seekers that are reluctant to share the reason why they left one job for another might look as theyre hiding what could be valuable details. Attempt to tailor your resume to the work description to emphasize why youre qualified for the job which youre applying to. Of course if youre asking for a particular job, its simple enough to amend a resume to incorporate an objective that matches the work description. Understanding how to write a work description. You dont need to list addresses and zip codes, though you will need to understand that information once it is time to complete an application. Besides listing basic details like your name, contact number, email address, and links to your online profiles, the exact top of your resume is a great place to earn a strong first impression. Just ensure the remainder of your information is mucksmus chenstill related to the new objective, though. Present your data in an organized format to make the most of readability having the most relevant information first. You can also have volunteer work on your resume whether it shows necessary skills. An internship will permit you to obtain practical wisdom and stick out from the competition. Benefit from numerous networking opportunities. You dont need to compose an essay. Before you can start to design your resume on paper, you should have the words. Now you have the words on paper, return to each list and think of which items are related to your target job. Decide what kind of job youll be applying for and then write it at the very top of a slice of paper. Youll depart from your employers musing they couldnt have said it better themselves. In the present world of e-mailed and scannable resumes, ensure you know the buzzwords of your industry and incorporate them in the sentences youre going to write. When youre finished , return to each job and think of what you may have done above and beyond the call of duty. Applying for a new job is an important moment in someones life. Bear in mind, your resume is only an enticer, a means to acquire your foot in the door. Hiring managers and recruiters are taking a look at hundreds of resumes every day, and will simply scan your resume to realize what youre about. If applicants know just what theyre getting themselves into when they submit an application for a job, HR professionals will be less inclined to get an overload of unqualified candidates and is going to have the chance to focus just on the best applicants. Landing a job is about your qualifications, meeting the most suitable opportunities, and having a terrific interview. Getting direct and clear in a work description is advantageous for HR professionals along with applicants. In that case, then every facet of your game has to be razor sharpespecially your resume. If youre vague about your o bjectives, you will do more damage than good if you list something like, promising position in a forward-looking firm. As soon as youre at work, showing you have integrity and a strong work ethic is something that you can demonstrate. If youre switching gears in your career, you might have plenty of experience which is not necessarily related to the particular job that you are applying for.